Pictures of my hair about 3 years post chemo & my up coming cancerversary

Pink weekend at The Smile Never Fades Gala September 25, 2009 Blog and extra picture taken by Michael Barnes.



14th Annual Champagne Brunch September 27, 2009
So it's getting pretty long. My goal is to grow it long and then donate my hair again. There's still a little chemo curl/wave left but nothing that is overly bothersome. I love being able to put it in a ponytail or clipping it up. Talk about learning to appreciate what you have/had!

November 16th will be my 4 year Cancerversary. Someone coined this word apparently and it marks the day you were diagnosed with cancer. It falls on Monday this year but I plan on celebrating the weekend prior. Heck, celebrate all month since my 33rd birthday is coming up too!

Love for My Doctors

I love my doctors. I trust them. Everyone needs a doctor to fill certain needs. Some people need to be motherly and nurturing. Others need them to be God. I want someone that is good.

After my late diagnosis back in 2005 and my issues with my first plastic surgeon, I've been very fortunate to love all my doctors. My first impression of my oncologist was dedication. It was my doctor's day off and she came into speak to me because I was just diagnosed.

Once again I love her. I've been seeing a neurologist to figure out my neuropathy. MRI of the brachial plexus and it came back with questionable findings in my left lymph node. My cancer was in the right breast and I had a sentile node biopsy done on the right side and it was clear. She called to let me know what they found in the MRI but for not for me to be alarmed and she would schedule a CT scan first thing tomorrow morning. 48 hours later and she called letting me know that it was clear. She said she was going to have a drink that night to celebrate. Of course that 48 hours was nightmarish and we know that too many scans to show false negatives. However, I love how she was on top of things. It was my neurologist that ordered the brachial plexus MRI and not her. I rather be safe than sorry since we know what happened to me back in 2005.

I feel good about my other docs too. I think that is the most important thing when you choose a doctor. You need to figure out what YOU need from a doctor. Do your research. Ask around. Get a second or third opinion if you feel iffy. I hear all the time how one person adored one doctor and one person could not stand that doctor. I want someone that will listen to me, or humor me, and someone that is skilled/qualified. It's only a bonus when they are compassionate or funny.

Flexetarianism

Life is about balance. I've dabbled in raw. I've dabbled in vegetarianism. I recently read somewhere about flexetarianism. A flexetarian is a person that eats mainly vegetarian but still consumes meat. That's me!

I still start every weekday with a green drink, red if I throw in a beet. My green drink is raw and contains vegetables, fruit and hemp protein. I found blending to be more cost efficient and less wasteful than juicing. You can use any blender you buy at Target though you will not be able to blend tougher vegetables well like kale. It's a good idea to invest in either a Blendtec or Vita-mix. They are $400 or more but it's worth it if you plan on blending often. I initially had a Jack La Lanne blender for $100 and it worked well until it started leaking. You cannot buy replacement parts unlike the other two I mentioned. Blending also allows you to consume needed fiber. Even so, it was not enough to sustain me as meal. I now have my green drink with a hard boiled egg and some keifer.

For lunch I typically have a large salad with raw cheese. Some days I will add in fish, chicken, avocado or nuts for my fat and protein.

Snacks usually consists of fruit, nuts, raw bar or flax crackers.

Dinner is fairly normal but typically healthy. It may or may not contain meat.

I try to always have raw dessert on hand because I have such a sweet tooth. Using fruit or agave nectar really makes the dessert satisfying and healthy.

Typically I do not eat grains that much. If I do, I try to eat quinoa or sprouted grains. Things I always keep in my freezer/fridge: brown rice tortilla, manna bread and Ezekiel bread w/o soy.

When I eat out I typically get a salad, with our without meat. There are days that I splurge and get my stuffed chicken poblano. Z'tejas and Sagos make the best stuffed chicken poblano in Austin! Also, variety is the spice of life. My waiter the other night told me this. Of course it's an old adage but he's right!

Love

Posted on Crazy Sexy Life and written by Gabrielle Bernstein. I enjoyed her posting so much I thought I would share it with others that may stumble along to my blog.

After being diagnosed with cancer, I changed. There is a new normal. I try to forgive more and really had to focus on forgiveness in the past few years of my life. Life is too short to harbor ill will. It only becomes toxic and harms us. Learning to let go of worries, anger, fear and emotions is something I work on every day. Gabrielle gives it a meaningful and manageable way to become a Lovetarian. (My next posting will hopefully be on flexatrian.)

Here's her wonderful posting:


Four years ago, I decided to clean up my mind and become a loveatarian. Choosing loving thoughts over fearful delusions was a tough transition at first. Giving up fear is like giving up sugar. Much like sugar, fear is a sneaky ingredient that hides out in everything. And just when you think you’ve got it under control all of sudden it pops up again. Therefore releasing fearful patterns requires you become a loveatarian.

One of the key components to my loveatarian lifestyle is my dedication to the teachings of A Course in Miracles. The Course teaches, “An untrained mind can accomplish nothing.” The Course is a self-study metaphysical guide that can be approached in whatever capacity works best for the individual. My experience studying the Course has resulted in a full blown mind cleanse and a super rockin’ life. As soon as I cleaned up my fearful thought patterns everything began to change. The most significant change is not what I experience, but instead, how I experience my experiences. As a result of following the Course’s suggestions I’ve forgiven my past, released my future and show up for the present with love and faith. Like they say in twelve step meetings, “It works if you work it.” Therefore I keep workin’ it on a moment by moment basis.

The crucial ingredients to workin’ the Course’s mind cleanse are the following concepts:
1. “Nothing real can be threatened” – Translation: Only love is real
2. “Nothing unreal exists” – Translation: All fear is an illusion
3. “Herein lies the peace of God” – Translation: Choose love over fear and you will be way more chilled out

So how do you choose love over fear? One word: Forgiveness. The act of forgiveness is to the loveatarian as a wheat grass implant is to the raw foodie. Forgiveness guides us to remove all of the old fear crap and clear space for love. The Course teaches that forgiveness is the key component to bringing the egos darkness to the light. Rather than continuing to play the role of victim we can forgive and be set free. With each choice to forgive you shift your perception from fear to love. The Course teaches that every shift in perception creates a miracle. Miracles are crucial to the lovetarians mind cleanse.

The payoff for sticking to the loveatarian way is that the more you choose forgiveness and love the more miracles you experience. And the more miracles you add up, you become less and less likely to perceive life through fearful lenses. When you choose to perceive love over fear, life gets super fun. You feel peaceful and you see love in all situations. Your fears subside and your life feels guided.

If you’re interested in these kinds of results begin your loveatarian diet today. Proceed with the following plan:

Breakfast: Pray to God/Universe/Inner Guide (or as Kris would say Jesus, Buddha, Elvis whatever)… Talk to whoever you think is listening and ask them for help. Ask the power greater than you to align your thoughts with love just for today. Following your prayer, add in a five minute meditation. In your meditation recite the mantra, “I choose love over fear, I welcome a miracle.” Repeat this out loud throughout your five minute meditation.

Snack: Make a list of all the people you need to forgive.

Lunch: Start forgiving. Go down the list and send a silent blessing to them all. Say out loud or in your mind, “I forgive you and I release you.”

Afternoon Snack: Send a loving email or text message to someone on your forgiveness list. Keep it simple. If you’re having a hard time forgiving just write, “I hope you’re having a great day.”

Dinner: Make a list of everything in your life that you’re grateful for that day.

Late Night Snack: Pray again. Thank (God/Universe or whoever you speak to) for another beautiful day. Say a prayer for anyone in need and everyone on your forgiveness list. Turn your day over and set your intention for a peaceful night sleep.

Like any great diet, true transformation will occur with daily repetition. Begin with a thirty day commitment to start seeing some positive results. By choosing to follow the loveatarian plan for the next thirty days you will begin to reprogram your thoughts from fear back to love. If you dig the results, stick to the plan and commit to a life as a loveatarian. Trust me you’ll feel much lighter!

?Carpal Tunnel?

I went to see my new neurologist last week and adore her. She asked me about 101 questions, looked me over quite extensively and did random tests on my arms, legs, hands and feet. For starters, she thinks I may have carpal tunnel. I get to wear these fashionable arm splints to bed. I'm so excited about that. She will perform an EMG on me in two weeks. Here's a low down on what it is:

Electromyography, or EMG, involves testing the electrical activity of muscles. Often, EMG testing is performed with another test that measures the conducting function of nerves. This is called a nerve conduction study. Because both tests are often performed at the same office visit and by the same personnel, the risks and procedures generally apply to both tests.

Muscular movement involves the action of muscles and nerves and needs an electrical current. This electrical current is much weaker than the one in your household wiring.

In some medical conditions the electrical activity of the muscles or nerves is not normal. Finding and describing these electrical properties in the muscle or nerve may help your doctor diagnose your condition.

EMG may aid with the diagnosis of nerve compression or injury (such as carpal tunnel syndrome), nerve root injury (such as sciatica), and with other problems of the muscles or nerves. Less common medical conditions include amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, myasthenia gravis, and muscular dystrophy.

Then she questioned me about my headaches/migraines. Whoa! That's not the reason why I went in but she thought a brain MRI would be helpful. Hmmm...I was supposed to get that done and a PET scan during my last scans but it didn't happen. She didn't quite explain to me the need for a brain MRI except to check out my migraine or headache that occurs about once a month which I find it to be more hormonal based. Went in to check on my tingling hands and may need to check my brain after all...

Of course, I googled carpal tunnel when I got home. Possible causes includes: being female (check,) family history of hypothyroid (mom has either hypo or hyper need to ask her but maybe check,) diabetes (check uncle passed away from it,) obesity (I'm not obese but even more reasons to get over my plateu,) and hormonal changes (check after good ole chemo and Tamoxifen.) I'm not liking the idea of carpal tunnel but it seems fairly manageable. Maybe acupuncture may help? Change the way I type? Hopefully I'll learn more after my EMG. Will keep you posted.

Neuropathy

I don't think I ever touched on neuropathy. This is the definition I got from the Mayo Clinic website:
Peripheral neuropathy, in its most common form, causes pain and numbness in your hands and feet. The pain typically is described as tingling or burning, while the loss of sensation often is compared to the feeling of wearing a thin stocking or glove.

Neuropathy is very much real. I experience a mild form during chemo, mainly a side effect of Taxol and mainly in my hands. I remember getting it more often at night time because I had a hard time sleeping. About a year ago after driving a few hours from Houston I had it in both hands/arms. I think gripping the steering wheel for so long may have triggered it.

It hasn't been so bad until the past few months. It comes and goes. There are no patterns. That's one of the reason why I wanted the PET scan which I never got due to my insurance. The rest of my scans came back negative besides for a herniated disc in my back. I've made an appointment to see a neurologist in a few weeks. My oncologist doesn't think it's related to post chemo effects but it's noticeable enough that I rather get it checked out.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good. My hair is growing longer and I'll have to post a pic next time. I'm still working hard to get off my plateau but I'm just thankful that I haven't gained anymore weight. My sleep is still sporadic but I'm going to keep trying. This summer makes it 3 years post chemo! Overall side effects of Tamoxifen is fairly manageable which is good since I have 2 more years of it.

Losing hair with laughter and tears

Losing your hair can be almost as devastating as losing your breasts. I'm three years out of treatment and my hair is finally at a length that I like. Being bald wasn't so bad but rather growing it out was tough.

I never had a hair shaving party or took pictures when it was getting shaved. I did have a loving purple hair lady share many stories with me, cracked many jokes, showed me many pictures and gave me a large hug when it was all over. I cried days prior to having it done because seeing the clumps of hair falling was so devastating. No tears for me that day I had it shaved. My mom did but it was short lived. I guess it helps when you have a loving purple hair lady smiling at you.


HEALTH
Losing hair with laughter and tears
Bonnie Friedman helps chemo patients face losing hair with a sense of humor.
By Andrea Ball

AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Bonnie Friedman wraps her bejeweled fingers around buzzing, zebra-patterned electric clippers and shaves Donna Johnson's hair to the scalp.

"Is that part too wide?" she says with mock innocence.

Johnson laughs, swallows nervously and tries not to cry.

"Leave it to Bonnie," Johnson says, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "I knew you'd make this fun, at least."

This might be one of the hardest days in Johnson's life. The 52-year-old Austin woman, who is about to embark on a grueling six months of chemotherapy, is here to have her hair shaved off before the breast cancer treatment takes it.

Anyone can shave a cancer patient bald, but admirers say thatFriedman — a stylist at Pat Painter's Wigs and Hairpieces in North Austin — approaches the job with a rarely seen passion that keeps her clients laughing instead of crying.

"She is almost an Austin institution," said Dr. Beth Hellerstedt, a local oncologist. "Bonnie does an amazing job of providing comfort to patients at the most difficult time."

For 12 years, Friedman, a self-professed "hypochondriac Jew from Miami" who staunchly refuses to reveal her age, has been hosting shaving parties for women undergoing chemo. Just the sight of her violet and white hair, dagger-long nails and rings on every finger is enough to make her clients crack a smile.
She cuts their hair and fits them for wigs. She has given women mohawks, and she's let their relatives shave them. She gives them funny buttons and pink cancer bracelets. She entertains them with off-color jokes that can't be repeated in polite company, much less this newspaper.

"The thing about Bonnie is she is full of energy," said Runi Limary,director of young survivor services at the Breast Cancer Resource Centers of Texas. "She really brings light and humor to the experience in a very compassionate way."

Cancer has always been in Friedman's life. Her mother died of the disease, as did her two aunts. Three cousins and her brother were also diagnosed, but they caught it early enough to beat it. In 1991 — two years after she left Miami to live near her brother in Austin — Friedman had a double mastectomy to prevent any chance of the disease. She later had a hysterectomy for the same reason.

So when Friedman went to work at Pat Painter's in 1997, she helped market the shop as the prime place for cancer patients to go. And when the clients came, Friedman saw them for what they were: scared women terrified of going bald.

"This is the worst time of their lives when they get their head shaved," Friedman said. "They can take the chemo and they can take the cancer. But shaving their hair is the worst."

Amy Huff, 35, was horrified at the thought of losing her hair when she had breast cancer in 2006. She didn't want people looking at her, pitying her, knowing she was sick. But when her dark locks started falling out, she knew it was time to see Friedman.

"Bonnie's there telling you look gorgeous and making you laugh," Huff said. "Given how much I was dreading it, she made it a lot better."

Last week, Donna Johnson, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in April, walked into
Pat Painter's to shave her hair off. More than two dozen friends and relatives joined her to eat, drink, take pictures and cheer her on.

Draping Johnson in a zebra-print smock, Friedman wrapped a bit of hair in a small rubber band and performed the first ceremonial snip.

Then she pressed the clippers against Johnson's head. Chestnut-colored locks drifted to the floor. Friends cheered. Then Friedman shaped the hair into a mohawk.

"I want you to see the side view!" Friedman said. "The side view is hot."
Soon, it was time to shave the rest off.

"Say goodbye!" Friedman said.

As the remaining hair floated to the floor, Friedman unleashed a string of one-liners for the shell-shocked Johnson.
Now you're a Hare Krishna!

Those eyes your mother always said she had in the back of her head — there they are!
Johnson laughed and dabbed her eyes as her friends cheered.

The hard part was over.

For more than two hours, Friedman pulled and stretched stylishly chic wigs on Johnson's head. Like old friends, they bickered over how the hair should look.

By the end of the night, Johnson was laughing without a hint of tears, walking a pretend red carpet and modeling multiple wigs for her friends. What could have been a horrible event, she said, had become something positive.

"Bonnie made it great," Johnson said. "I don't think I could have done it with without her."

aball@statesman.com; 912-2506