A Dog is Man's Best Friend

I finished reading The Art of Racing in the Rain yesterday. It's a great book. It's about a young man's, Denny, trials and tribulations told through a dog's, Enzo, point of view. There are many references and metaphors to racing because Denny aspires to be a race car driver. I don't think I'll ever look at Sammy the same again. I'm constantly thinking what he is thinking. I guess there's so many things we can learn from our four legged friend! This book was given to me when I had my surgery and now I understand why.

I also found out on Sunday my dear Coco passed away. He was 14 years old and he lived a very good life. We got him when I was a junior in high school and he has lived with my parents ever since. I'm better today but took it pretty hard yesterday. I found out while I was in the middle of my grocery shopping. (My mom has a knack for good timing.) I last saw him over the 4th of July and he was still pretty vibrant. He got two walks a day with us and both Ben and Ryan took turns holding the leash. He did pant more but he never missed a beat. (Below is a picture of Ben walking him in July. It's a good thing my sister doesn't read my blog or she'll be upset at me for posting a picture of Ben in his onsies that is either too large or I didn't snap it correctly!) My mom told me that Ben, almost 2, still peers into his dog house looking for him...He was a very sweet dog and may he rest in peace.

My dear Sammy is now 9. He too will pass one of these days. I know that we all will, it's the circle of life. This makes me embrace life even more. Here's something else that reminds me to live fully...the way dogs do!

2 Years Post Chemo

This November marks my 3 year survivorship but the end of June, two months ago, marked the 2 year mark of being done with chemo. It brings about many emotions for me. I know that the first 5 years is the highest risk for recurrence. With each 5 years interval, my chances of recurrence drops. Big yea on that! I was supposed to have my bone and CT scan tomorrow morning but they are still waiting to get confirmation from my insurance first, of course. It has been postponed until the end of this month to clear everything.

My July visit with my oncologist gradates me from seeing her every 3 months to every 6 months now. Luckily, I've formed a great relationship with her and she wants to see me in 3 more months rather than 6. That's fine by me since it will make me feel better and I've already maxed out my complete out of pocket.

My hair is growing back nicely. The ends are still wavy but I won't complain. I love it!

My sleep is still interrupted most nights. I am still on Tamoxifen, a hormone inhibitor, for 3 more years. It can be due to that or from chemo.

I have ridges on my nails which never used to be there. Since I can, I blame that on chemo too.

I've lost a little over half the weight I gain from chemo and Tamoxifen. I've hit a plateau but I'm starting to be able to fit into some of my old clothes again so I'm pretty excited. Clothes are sometimes more telling than a scale.

I've recently finished my first of many scrapbooks on my cancer journey. It amazes me to think of how long ago November 16, 2005 seems now. In many ways, I feel as if I'm a different person and in a different place in my life. It was therapeutic for me to complete phase one of my book.

I was also given a beautiful Asian journal for my end of chemo party. Most of my friends signed that book. I've gone back and included a few beautiful cards that touched my heart. I found a handful of cards from the shoebox of cards and letters from my friends, family and chemo angels. All the contents touched me and I cried looking through the box. The journal will not hold all the contents because I plan on printing out the contents of this blog and adding to my journal or I would have included them all.

Covey's second habit is to "Begin with the end in mind." How do we want people to view us when we pass away? What do we want people to say about us at our funeral? Who would attend our funeral? I know I sometimes slack off but I need to focus on relationships in my life. For those of my loved ones that are reading this, thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to check up on me. I love you and it means more to me than you'll ever know.