Fear

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have many fears. I think my fears developed from growing up in a strict Asian family. I grew up fearing I would shame my parents or not live up to their expectations. My mom was a lot like Tiger mom though she didn't have the education to tutor/torture me herself.

Of course I fear a recurrence. I Have 4 months left of Tamoxifen and I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time. But besides diet and exercise, there is very little that we know that I can proactively do to minimize my chances and I'm all about being proactive.

A huge fear I've had since childhood was a fear of the water. All I remember was that I was young and in my life jacket but left out in the open water by my cousin. I don't talk about that story with my family so I'm not sure how much of it is valid or if my memory dilutes it. Anyway, having so many new girls getting recurrances was another good wake up call. Four weeks ago I started taking swim lessons w/CTTS' Jimmy. I was told by all the girls that Jimmy was the man. After four lessons I am still scared of the water BUT I'm feeling much more comfortable in it and backward swim isn't so intimidating.

Fear can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. Fear can be a great source of motivation. I hope next time I can report that my fear of the water is decreased even more!