Tribute to Stephen Covey

'7 Habits' author Stephen Covey dies after 

cycling accident on 7/16/2012

For those of you that are not familiar with Stephen Covey and he book 7 Habits, in some ways it was the book that changed my outlook on life. I was one of those overachieving, high stressed teacher that had to run every after school activity, tutor every student, spend countless hours working and just never stopped working. I'm not sure if stress contributed to my cancer but it just wasn't healthy.

I remember ready Covey's book about a year or two prior to my diagnosis. Ironically, I never finished his book. His first two habits changed my outlook on life.

Habit 1: Be proactive and not reactive

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind

Habit 1 basic tells us to take responsibility for our life. Instead of blaming others, what can we do to make things better? Instead of being angry and reacting, what can we do to actively change things? What can we change and what can we not change? Worry about we can control rather than things that we cannot control. I treated my diagnosis this way. I had cancer but instead of blaming others and moping around, I made the best of my situation.

Habit 2 makes us visual who we want to be. What do we want people to say about us at our funeral? Who do we want to see at our funeral? It's almost like Socrates' "The unexamined life is not worth living." It's like be the change you want to see in this world. I hope through my teaching and my work as a patient navigator and my volunteer work I am doing this.

I actually read to my students this book that was written for teens. I'm not sure if it impacted my students the way it impacted me but hopefully at least one student was inspired by it.

Covey died yesterday in a cycling accident. He made a lasting impact on me so job well done with Habit 2 if that was his intention.

Physical Scars: My Port

It’s summer time in Austin and I love my tank tops because its hot.  I’ve had two people call me out on my port scar. A quick background on ports:  A port serves many purposes. Not everyone that receives chemo will get a port. Some chemo cocktails can be harsh (duh they are like poison) when it becomes in contact with the skin or some people have bad veins or some people know they will have chemo longer or for the duration of their lifetime. Because I was HER2+, I was on Herceptin for a year and I was on Adriamycin and which was potentially harsh to the skin so I was recommended to have a port put in.  The port makes it easier to administer chemotherapy safely rather than having to start an IV each time. Elma cream is a topical that is a local anesthetic to relieve pain during port access so it is usually applied before going to the infusion room.


Ryan was one of the two that ask me about it during my last visit home.  He was 3.5 years old when he saw me bald and in the mist of  chemo.  I know my sister prepped him for my arrival home.  I flew home for Maria’s wedding and I was in the middle of Taxol.  Sure enough, he didn’t ever ask me about my wig, scarves or my bald head.  I wasn’t kidding when I mentioned that he was so mature.    

This was the top I was wearing when he asked about my port.  He's finally wearing another color besides red.  It's the shirt I got him when I was in Cozumel.  You can't see the port in this picture because the port is on my left side.  

I think often how people with a significant other seems much better off going through treatment, especially chemo, than someone that was single.  I think the most challenging position would be to have children, especially young children, while going through treatment.  Scratch that, the absolute most challenging is being a single mom and having children. 

It felt as if my heart stopped beating for a few seconds when Ryan inquired about the line on my chest.  I asked him if he remembered when I was bald.  He said he did.  We talked how I had surgery to put something in there to help me get my chemo medicine easier.  Kids are resilient.  No other questions and he was excited to be watching Spiderman. 

Not so obvious but obvious enough if you're looking for it.  Ryan is at the perfect height to see it.  We were walking into the movie theater when he saw it.  

Moms have to explain to their children all the time that they have breast cancer.  It’s the moms that go through chemo that the children can finally see that their moms are sick.  The pale skin and no hair are dead giveaways.  The other side effects just compound things. 

We’re so fortunate to have Wonders and Worries in Austin.  They are a local nonprofit that can help the parents talk to their children about this and they also offer support groups and one-on-one with the children.  I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about them.  Call them if you need their resources.  Other cities have comparable programs out there too. 

We know that a diagnosis leaves many emotional scars.  It’s the physical ones that we see on a daily basis.  They start to heal and fade with time but hopefully it serves as a reminder of how far we’ve come and for us to never take life for granted.

“Epic” Summer 2012 in NM

I just got back from my annual summer trip to visit family and friends.  I titled it “Epic” because Ben, the 5.5 year old, told me that the fireworks this year would be epic.  It amazes me how articulate they become and how they still have their childhood innocence.  It brings a smile to my face as I write about my nephews. 

Of course, I had a fabulous time with them.  Ben started counting down my arrival weeks before I landed.  He apparently woke up at 5am anticipating my arrival.  He’s still so sweet yet mischievous at the same time.  I have to dub him as the charismatic one. 

Then there is Ryan, the almost 10 year old.  He has gotten much taller since I saw him last in December.  He’s still the overly sensitive one but has grown a great deal of maturity.  We set up a Gmail account for him and I gave him my old camera so he would be able to send me photos of projects.  (We’re not quite up to Skyping yet but maybe next year.) 

My dad picked me up from the airport and we went to Sunflower to pick up things for my green drinks.  This is our usual routine and would be as close as we would get for bonding time with my dad.  He was cute because he asked me if I got taller or if I lost weight.  I think my bangs made me look taller and thinner? 

My mom is learning balance.  She didn’t say anything negative and didn’t over inquire about my life.  Life is good with her.

My brother-in-law started working day shift.  It was nice having him around rather than seeing him in passing. 

My brother is the guy with the big heart but super laid back.  We went hiking though we took one wrong turn and the boy scout in him had to whip out the flashlight.  I joked around that Twitter will read that Two Limary’s lost in mountains, one from Texas.  Okay, so I’m a little overly dramatic.  We were able to see homes on the trail.  He took me to the Flying Star on Paseo which is very nice and my first time there.

My sister is the only female running a household of males.  She loves her new job and can be as sassy as my mom.  She bought me a pedicure and it still looks good as I stare at them while I type.

 Then there are my friends.  I miss them dearly.  I was able to see Maria + her fam, Mary Ann, Alicia, Sue and Michelle.  I saw all the friends I wanted to see but one.  They warm my heart and I have a twinkle in my eye as I think of them.  Here is the break down:  I’ve known Maria and her family since seventh grade so over 20 years.  I’ve known Michelle since sixth grade though we became good friends in seventh grade, another over 20 years of friendship.  Michelle’s partner in crime is Justin and he’s so good to hang with us.  I’ve known him since senior year so just less than 20 years.  I also figured that he was the first person to ever get me drunk!  I’ve known Alicia, Sue and Mary Ann roughly freshman year so about 20 years.  Sue and I really became good friends sophomore in college when she moved back to ABQ.  We had some great laughs and great memories since then.

I was able to spend quality time with them.  I saw Maria and her family several days leading up to Cathy (her baby sister’s wedding.)  I was their adopted sister and I love her parents too.  We were able to hang at Flying Star which is one of my favorite places.  I miss and love all my friends dearly, even if they always make me feel guilty for leaving them.  It truly was an "epic" summer.