Changed the title of my blog

As of May 22, 2011 I've changed my blog from Conquering Cancer to Diagnosed w/Breast Cancer at the age of 28. There are several reasons for this change. I find survivorship, especially in younger people, to be more challenging sometimes than the actual treatment. During actual treatment you're on the go on the go. It's post treatment where you have to access your "new normal" and every ailment needs to be taken seriously. Of course every ailment is now blamed on my chemo and Tamoxifen.

Here's a little update on my health. January MRI showed no evidence of disease which is fabulous. My tentative BRCA mutation is always in the back of my mind too. My last ultrasound back in October showed cysts but nothing of the ordinary. My tumor marker CA125 came back low too.

All these are wonderful news in the cancer world but I was still having pelvic pain on the right side and my knee still wasn't right since I started training for the Danskin last spring. I finally went to PT and they thought it was my IT band. After a few sessions and me testing it out by running on it but we still got swelling I was ordered an MRI. (Thankfully w/o contrast.) I saw my oncologist and complained about my pelvic pain. She ordered another pelvic ultrasound (the first one this year) and ordered an MRI of my right hip. She did say it, but I'm sure she thought it could have possibly be mets to the pelvic bone.

Two MRI's and an ultrasound later I was diagnosed, thankfully not cancer, but something possibly debilitating. I have grade 4 (just like cancer there isn't anything higher than 4) chondromalcia of the patella. It's the medial term for bad cartilage of the knee cap. Basically I have bone on bone. My right hip shows a probable tear of my labrum which means I have a torn cartilage in my hip. I also have some tear in my side muscles in the hip. My ovaries shows cysts but nothing out of the ordinary.


So...that's a lot of information. Grade 4 chondromalacia of the patella is bad news. No more running or high impact exercises for me. I went swimming this weekend and experienced some swelling. I think I need to do no cardio for a few weeks and then try out swimming and cycling again. It seems as if I can cycle but I'll need to modify and probably cycle less and shorter distances. Besides that and more PT, I have few options. Knee surgery is the last option. I can have cortisone shots but I rather wait on that too. I'm even more serious about losing those last 10 lbs that I gain from chemo/Tamoxifen. A knee brace may help too. So today I'm off the gym but to do upper body machine weights only. Yes, all this is crappy news for a 34.5 year old but I have to stick to my proactive mind frame as what I did for my cancer diagnosis. Same thing with my hip. PT is the best thing for it and hip replacement surgery in the future at the worse case scenario. Thankfully I spoke w/ a friend and she said her dad recovered well from it.

I do feel broken. There are many factors that may have contributed to this but I always think: did chemo/Tamoxifen make me more suseptible to all this? I'll never know but I know this is common in athletes. I'm not sure if I call myself and athlete but I am active. I'm sure my sprain knee when I gain all that weight after treatment didn't help or when I fell on it biking or my days of running or my ill fitted mountain bike. Women in general are more susesptible to it because of our wider hips. I never had a baby but I do have birthing hips. Anyway, I'm not going to go there. Hindsight is hindsight. I can only move forward and things can always be worse. Remember to treat your body like a temple!

Post GRAPHIC V Art Bra Runway Show 2011

GRAPHIC V was April 23, 2011 this year. This is back stage of the girls before the show. Don't they look like they are having a blast? I'm so proud of them and so proud of them for making the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls a successful networking group for young women in Austin!





This is my model wearing my Napa Valley bra that made the runway this year! Woohoo!


I'm like a proud mama! This is my Pink Ribbon Cowgirl!

This year was smooth, fun, empowering and about strength. I'm so proud of all the committee members that put so much work into this.

Fear

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have many fears. I think my fears developed from growing up in a strict Asian family. I grew up fearing I would shame my parents or not live up to their expectations. My mom was a lot like Tiger mom though she didn't have the education to tutor/torture me herself.

Of course I fear a recurrence. I Have 4 months left of Tamoxifen and I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time. But besides diet and exercise, there is very little that we know that I can proactively do to minimize my chances and I'm all about being proactive.

A huge fear I've had since childhood was a fear of the water. All I remember was that I was young and in my life jacket but left out in the open water by my cousin. I don't talk about that story with my family so I'm not sure how much of it is valid or if my memory dilutes it. Anyway, having so many new girls getting recurrances was another good wake up call. Four weeks ago I started taking swim lessons w/CTTS' Jimmy. I was told by all the girls that Jimmy was the man. After four lessons I am still scared of the water BUT I'm feeling much more comfortable in it and backward swim isn't so intimidating.

Fear can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. Fear can be a great source of motivation. I hope next time I can report that my fear of the water is decreased even more!

My Heart

I decided to see a cardiologist this year. I saw a peer collapse after she had Adriamycin, a type of chemotherapy, twice and known to cause heart issues. I also had Herceptin which is a targeted therapy but can also cause heart problems. Finally I have family history of hypertension, cholesterol and diabetes.

I actually put off seeing my cardiologist for a few months thinking she would dismiss me and think I am just paranoid. Luckily I either hit the jackpot with a great doctor my oncologist recommended and/or I plead a good case. I hope it is both. I told her my story and she said it was a good idea to get a baseline look at my heart post treatment. Besides my MUGGA scans from Herceptin I never had a post heart function. She never told me that she felt Adriamycin was dangerous or that is why it made my peer collapse but the look on her face was telling enough. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit that day because the nurse that saw me before I saw my cardiologist seemed quite fascinated about my ovarian ablation/suppression question and even asked to be in the room while I spoke to the doctor.

Besides my family history of heart disease and my past drug infusions, I wanted to discuss my future of possibility of ovarian suppression or ablation. There seems to be a connection that your hormones protect you from cardiovascular problems. My cardiologist did not know of clear studies verifying that. Besides eating right, exercising and taking omega 3, she recommended one or two servings of alcohol a week. Of course this made my eyes wide since too much alcohol can raise estrogen and have been known to have a higher incidence of breast cancer though moderation does not seem to be a factor. I think I'll stick to my one or two glasses a month and not feel guilty.

She wanted me to have an ECHO of my heart. I've linked it for you so you can read about it rather than me try to explain what it actually does besides an ultrasound that examines the heart. Anyway, I had it today and the EF normal range for my age is 50 to 70 and I'm at a 60%. Overall everything appeared normal for my age! The nurse that told me the news was excited as I was and we both knew that the Adriamycin was what worried us both. I now have a cholesterol test. If all goes well I go for a yearly or biyearly checkup. If it's high I go back in to see them.

This is fantastic news because both my parents have hypertension and high cholesterol. I also have two siblings that have hypertension. I've been on enough medication that I am looking forward to being healthy and drug free once I finish Tamoxifen this August. Yes, that is right, August! (Technically end of August but close enough)

So, I guess I need to have a toast to my green drinks, working out and overall healthy eating. I'm not out of the woods yet. I know genetically I am predisposed to heart disease but at least I know I'm at an equal playing ground with the average Joe event post treatment!

Art Bra round 5

GRAPHIC 5 is April 23rd so just a little over a month. I wasn't very motivated to do one this year and really couldn't figure out a theme that would be easy enough for an unskilled person to create. I wanted to do a space theme but wouldn't have been able to pull it off. It wasn't until late last month that I was inspired to do a Napa Valley bra. My bra is in memory of all the fallen Cowgirls and in honor of the rest of the Cowgirls. Seeing so many stage IV and those with recurrences made me want to do another bra this year. It's now a tradition for me and I don't want to break it.

Carrageenan

So I'm back to my dairy debate of to consume or not to consume? I recently heard that carrageenan is found in many dairy alternative drinks like almond, rice, soy, etc. Those that don't have it tend to be high in sugar which is something I also try to avoid. Back to carrageenan: It's extracted from a red seaweed and is an emulsifier in foods.

I've heard mixed reviews about it. Some places claim it is fine and FDA approved. I also read that injected w/saline underneath an animal skin it was also carcinogenic. Granted that is in high doses and directly into the blood system but we all know how little things can accumulate over time. I've also read that it may have MSG and cause allergies in people?

Because of all the unknowns I think I will stay away from them. Unfortunately my coconut milk that I like to enjoy on occasion contains it. I haven't been researching this too long but the Whole Foods Almond Milk pictured below does not contain it. I think Rice Dreams do not either but it is higher in sugar.
Here's a list of the ingredients:
Of course I just Googled Tricalcium Phosphate and there seems to be iffy research about that too.

So...it might be the best option to stick to organic milk or make your own almond milk but blending almonds with water in a high power blender and then strain it. I think I will stick to organic milk for the time being. Of course, I plan to drink my almond milk from Whole Foods but think I'll do more research before consuming carrageenan or tricalcium phosphate.

NED!

Just a quick post that my MRI prep worked and I showed no signs of allergic reaction! Woohoo! Also, results showed NED No Evidence of Disease!