Chemo: Round One

I started chemo in February of 2006. This allowed enough time for me to heal from my mastectomy. Chemo made me real nervous and even more so than surgery. Chemo would last five months and five months can either go real fast or real slow.

Round one: I was in the infusion room for over five hours. The first infusion is the most crucial. The nurses make sure you do not have a allergic reaction to the different drugs. Unfortunately, I was on the worse kind: A/C or Adramycin and Cytoxyon. They don't call it the Red Devil just for fun... I was uncertain how chemo would affect me. I was told that I would lose my hair around day 14. I would feel tired and probably sick two to three days after my infusion. Water and food may start to taste metallic.

We managed the first two to three days. Then day four arrived. I went back to work. By noon time, I thought I would faint. I felt cold, tired and dizzy. Apparently, the color must have been drained in my face because I had several coworkers and students inquire how I was feeling. I couldn't tell anyone the truth because telling them the truth meant that chemo has beaten me with only the first infusion.

What if I couldn't work for five months? What laws were there? We just bought a new house. How was I supposed to pay for my medical bill and mortgage?

Beth, my principal at the time, encouraged me to take care of myself and that they would figure something out. I had fellow teachers come up to me and said they would help with subbing, grading, tutoring, etc. I've always pride myself on being very independent and never asked for help. Looking back at it, I now realize that asking or accepting help from people that care about you is as important to you as it is for the people that are offering to help.

I left work at 4:00. I was supposed to be home around 4:00 because that was the time my mom and I agreed upon. I barely made it home that day. My commute is now 20 miles home and about 30 - 40 minutes commute in the afternoon. I reached the front door and burst into tears. I staggered into the bedroom and did not leave for several hours. I felt so cold and weak. I felt like I had no control of my life. My poor mom and RJ were concerned and didn't know what to do.

I was cold. I took my temperature and I was running a slight fever. I called my oncologist. She told me to take a Tylenol to lower my temperature and to come back in the next morning if I still wasn't feeling well.

I e-mailed my sub plans in at 5:00 that morning. RJ dropped of my mom and I early the next morning. I had about a liter of saline infused into me. During my infusion, a lady next to me had an allergic reaction to Taxol, my next chemo drug. EMS came and took her away. I was sobbing so hard that all the oncology nurses had to come and reassure me that she would be okay.

I felt better that evening and went into work the next day. I still felt weak. I remember thinking: Five more months of this?