Saying Good-bye to my Hair

Round two was a bit easier. We even took my mom to Rudy's for dinner. I didn't have too much of an appetite but knew that I needed to eat before my taste buds went bad.

My hair was starting to fall out. Sure enough, they told me around day 14. It got to a point that I didn't want to shower anymore because it was so traumatizing. I have had long hair for the majority of my life. I had that thick, straight Asian hair. RJ was amazing and reassured me that he would love me with or without hair. My mom encouraged me to go ahead and get it shaved. It was very difficult and felt as if that was another way for me to lose my feminality. Many women say that losing their hair is worse than losing their breast. While I was going through it, I would have to agree. I now realize that losing my hair was temporary.

During that time, I would cry each time I showered, brushed by hair or woke up with clumps of hair on my pillow. I'm grateful that I cut off my long hair because it was easier to see short hair fall out rather than longer hair. My head started aching too. All this was normal and it was time to visit Pat's Painter, my wig place.

Bonnie took care of me there. She's a hoot and recommended that I went ahead and shaved my head. I knew it was coming. The fine print on the chemo labels will say a small percentage of people will not lose their hair and I guess we all hang on to that little hope. I think it hit my mom more so than I. My mom cried when Bonnie shaved my head. Surprisingly the shaved head wasn't oh so bad.

One thing I did notice that it was very cold! It was mid-February and very chilly! I bought my wig that day and went home. RJ called me the "Golden Child" and insisted on taking photos of me. I didn't like that at the time but I'm grateful that he did because it makes it easier to share my story.

We had many cold fronts following that day. Believe it or not, I had a very difficult time finding beanies! The Motorola Marathon whipped out all the beanies. Julia gave me one and my beloved Maria sent me two and I was forever grateful! I try not to ever complain about bad hair days anymore...I'm just glad I have hair.